


Take My Hand

by EverydayClumsy



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Angst, Conflict, Fluff, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Love Confessions, M/M, Will Finds Out, mention of others
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-13
Packaged: 2018-01-15 16:03:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1310830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverydayClumsy/pseuds/EverydayClumsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting</p><p>For a moment it seemed as if the time stopped, Hannibal blinked slowly and the first thing he saw was amber encased in pale ice. He inhaled deeply.<br/>___<br/>Edit: Part two in working.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take My Hand

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta read like always, sorry about that. Just point out the mistakes and I correct them.
> 
> I've been writing this for a week now and idk why, just felt like writing it down.
> 
> Have fun reading, Sweets :3.
> 
> Memories are in _cursive_ and they are in chronological order.
> 
> EDIT: Additional notes at the end, part two in working.

“Hello Doctor Lecter, I’m glad you could make it.” Hannibal shook Agent Crawford’s hand and smiled pleasantly at him. His grip was too tight, but he could forgive it because he was the one to bring him into the FBI.

The fox in the hen house, invited by the farmer himself. It really couldn’t go better.

“It’s my pleasure to help.” He looked around the room. The bright midday sun shone through the windows; on the board were picture of young girls, all American dream and a map with red pins marking where they had gone missing. Not his puzzle to solve but maybe he could manipulate Agent Crawford so he could help, see how the FBI works in detail. He smiled to himself, it shaped to be a rather good day.

“And where is our Agent I should ...talk to?” He asked remembering why he was here. The senior Agent had called him on recommendation from one of his old students, Alana Bloom; he was supposed to evaluate and analyze an Agent and clear him for field work. Such an annoying chore and the said Agent wasn’t even on time. And Agent Crawford hadn’t even given him a name, everyone was so rude, he sighed inwardly.

There was a soft knock on the door and the Senior Agent smiled “Ah, that must be him.” He went to the door and opened it “Will, come in.”

 

For a moment it seemed as if the time stopped, Hannibal blinked slowly and the first thing he saw was amber encased in pale ice. He inhaled deeply.

 

_“Malheur, stop!” Hannibal heard it before he saw it. ‘It’ being a huge Dalmatian running directly at him. His paws sinking into the gravel as it ran in his direction._

_Everything happened in a blur; the dog lunged himself against his leg and Hannibal stumbled, his coffee flying to the ground; he caught himself before his body went after it. He frowned down at the dog who now sat next to his leg staring up at him, waving his tail, completely happy with himself. It seemed as his next victim had presented itself._

_He heard the gravel crunch and looked up. A young man came running, his dark curly hair bouncing with every step._

_“Malheur!” He called as he neared them. “God, I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” He looked him up and down breathing heavily before kneeling next to the dog._

_He griped the dogs collar tightly “Malheur, bad boy! You can’t just run off.” He scolded him attaching a leash to its collar._

_He straightened up brushing off the dust on his knees “I’m really sorry about him. Are you alright? – I hope he didn’t hurt you.” Concern written all over his face._

_Hannibal sighed inwardly, not a new prey then._

_He eyed the other man; he was slightly shorter than him, dark curly hair, pale blue eyes like ice with sparks of gold, it reminded him of amber in ice._

_“Everything’s fine, my coffee just didn’t survive.” He said glancing at the paper cup on the ground. It’s warm liquid already soaking into the cool earth, steam rising and disappearing._

_“Sorry, let me buy another cup.” The stranger offered with a slight smile and Hannibal found himself agreeing._

_“Your dog clearly lives up to his name.” He said hiding his smile behind his cup._

_The other man smiled back shyly at him “Yeah, he does.” He looked affectionately at the mutt at his side, his leash firm in his hand. “But he’s not mine; I’m just looking after him for a colleague.”_

_“Oh, but –“ He was interrupted by a phone ringing. The other man scrambled the phone out of his pocket and frowned at it._

_“I’m sorry I have to go. I’m really sorry about what happened again.” He turned around answering his phone and breaking out in a sprint, the dog running next to him. “Yeah, yeah, I’m on my way…” He could hear his voice fade out into the distance. He looked after him until his shape vanished into the crowd. Only as he didn’t see him anymore he remembered that he hadn’t asked his name. He sighed and made his way to the hospital._

 

He breathed out; the other man stood in the doorway and looked at him. The sun shone through the windows illuminating his dark hair, a halo of light. His pale eyes glimmered like crystals. An unreadable expression on his face

“Hannibal?” Came a broken whisper.

Hannibal took a step closer and the other man stepped backwards, his eyes fleeting through the room, his body tensing. Recognition, understanding and pain flooded his eyes “Excuse me…, I…” he turned around and vanished behind the door.

The older Agent eyed the retreating form of the younger man through the door and frowned “What was that?”        

Hannibal stood there stunned for a moment before his brain stuttered into movement “My apologies Agent Crawford but I can’t evaluate William… Graham as a psychiatrist, it would go against my work ethics.” He said grabbing his coat he had hanged on the back of one of the chairs.

“What?” The senior Agent looked at him confused.

“Would you please excuse me?” He ran out of the room catching the last of dark curls disappearing behind a corner. He sprinted after him.

“Doctor Lecter!” He could the older agent call after him.

 

_“Hello, I’m Doctor Lecter. I’ll be your attending physician today.” He said looking at the clipboard in his hands, when he looked up he was greeted with a familiar face._

_“Hello.” He said dumbly again, looking at the man sitting on the examination table. The dark haired man smiled at him faintly._

_“Will Graham.” The man introduced himself “I’m here because of this.” He turned slightly and showed him a slowly bleeding gash on his biceps._

_Hannibal arched an eyebrow at him and busied himself with preparing for the examination. “How did it happen?” He asked casually._

_“Um…, got shot.” Will answered looking at the ground._

_He turned around and looked at him, the other man looked up at him quickly and looked away again._

_Hannibal started to work on the gash explaining what he was doing and observing the man. His long eyelashes lay on his cheeks every time he blinked, his pale blue eyes skittered through the room, his lips where slightly parted. There was no denying that he was a handsome man, there was something angelic about him._

_“So…, you are a GP?” Will asked his eyes briefly meeting Hannibal’s, a slight flush tainting his cheeks._

_He smiled slightly and answered “No, I’m actually a surgeon.” The other man regarded him surprised. “We have a shorting on GP’s and I was free today so I’m helping out.” He said finishing his work on the others arm._

_“Oh, that’s nice of you.” Will said smiling a little more freely._

_Hannibal smiled back “And what did you do to get something like this?” He asked pointing at Will’s arm._

_“I’m in the homicide department, there was a shooting with a suspect and I was in the way.” He said with something that resembled a smile._

_Something in the back of his mind bristled, he was treating a police officer; his fake smile gave nothing away “I’m glad that our safety is in such capable hands.”_

_The laugh from the man startled him “I wouldn’t say capable.” The sound stirred something deep inside him._

_He dressed the wound and let the nurse handle the rest. His laugh didn’t leave him the whole day._

 

He caught up with him on the parking lot “Will!” He called out and the other man froze in front of the car he was getting in. He turned slowly around and watched him approach.

He neared slowly; one wrong move and he would never see him again and he couldn’t risk that again.

He stood a few paces away from him and took in his appearance; he looked so small and vulnerable. His love for plaid shirts was still there, he smiled carefully at him “Hello Will.”

He could see the younger man take in a deep breath, his shoulders sunk and the tension seemed to flow out of him. “Hannibal” The air of resignation surrounded him.

“I…” He cleared his throat and stepped closer “I didn’t know you worked for the FBI.” He said, watching him.

“I work as a teacher in Quantico and sometimes help Jack on the field.” His eyes were cast to the ground.

“How long have you been here?” He had to know, he had to know if he could have met him earlier.

“A while…,” He took a deep breath “I’m sorry, I can’t do this, I can’t…” He covered his face with his hands.

Hannibal stepped closer putting his hand on his shoulder “Will.”

“Don’t!” He jerked away and climbed into his car.

Hannibal could only stand there, his hand still hovering in the air. He watched the car disappear into the traffic.

He flexed his hand looking at it. He had seen him and now he was gone again.

 

_Hannibal walked through the hospital dead tired, after a 72 hour shift. The early morning hours were quiet, a few nurses bustling around in their never ending cheer._

_As much as he was used to long working hours and the strain on his body, he was still human and a 72 hour shift was even for him enough to make him tired and clumsy. He wanted to get as fast as possible out of the hospital and into his bed. He wasn’t paying attention and walked straight into someone’s back._

_“I’m sorry.” He muttered not really feeling it, he wanted to get home._

_“No worries.” Came a familiar voice, he looked at the man in front of him._

_That was the third time he met the man “It seems we stumbled upon each other again.” He said a soft smile on his lips._

_“What are you doing here?” He asked trying to stifle a yawn._

_Will chuckled lightly, a soft and peasant sound “Removing the stitches.” He brushed over his biceps._

_“Ah…” Hannibal could only explain what he did next as a result of his sleep deprivation and overworking. He took the other man’s hand and the pen that hung in his breast pocket and wrote down his name and number on it._

_“Call me.” He said and walked away from the man who looked baffled after him._

 

He sat in his home office, a whiskey glass in his hand. His stared at the crackling fire, his mind wandering, the days sinking into his bones.

 

_His phone rung and woke him up, he looked at his watch, he had been sleeping for the last seven hours and he was not nearly done. He scowled at the devices and picked it up “Yes, Lecter.” He answered gruffly._

_“Um…, Hello.” Came a familiar, hesitant voice and Hannibal sunk back into his pillows._

_“I didn’t think you would actually call.” He said, his sleepy mind not fully working._

_A warm laugh came from the other side and Hannibal wanted to fall asleep to it. “Well I was kinda bullied into it, you wrote in a place where everyone could see it, so my colleagues made it their main goal today to make me call you.”_

_“Sorry about that.” He mumbled “No, actually I’m not sorry.” He admitted rolling onto his side holding the phone to his ear._

_Will chuckled on the other side “So…, um…, I haven’t really thought this through.”_

_Hannibal could hear the embarrassment over the phone and grinned, he said the first thing that came to his mind “How about dinner this evening?”_

_The line was quiet for a minute “Alright.” There was a smile in the others voice and Hannibal named a restaurant and a time before hanging up and falling asleep to the warm sound of his laughter and the memory of his smiling face._

_Only later that day, when he woke up and his brain was fully working, he realized what he had done. A mixture of embarrassment and mortification settled over him, couldn’t meet up with a police officer that would be too risky._

_He picked up his phone scowling and wanted to call to cancel but there waited a text message._

_‘Hey, I’m pretty sure you weren’t fully awake when you talked to me, so I don’t mind you canceling tonight. Rest well. –WG’_

_Hannibal looked at the message and his scowl deepened._

_‘No, it’s a date. –HL’_

 

He brushed his fingers over his phone, the number so important and burned into his mind not there anymore, not working for the last five years.

The meeting with the younger man earlier this week had left him wandering in his mind and remembering things he didn’t want to. Things he tried to forget for his own sake, so many regrets hung in the air.

 

_Hannibal sat at the table in the back of the quiet little restaurant; he was a little earlier as they agreed on. He was still wondering if it was a good idea when he saw him enter through the door._

_His soft brown curls ruffled and wild, the top button of his dark shirt open, his pale neck showing. He watched as he made his way through the restaurant, a little smile blooming onto his face as he saw him._

_They greeted each other and sat down, the waiter turning up after a moment with the menus. He watched the younger man over the menu engaging into easy small talk, he could see that the other man was not completely comfortable in the situation. He had already observed the other times when they happened to come upon each other that he wasn’t making eye contact._

_After a while they fell into a chat that he actually enjoyed, they talked about the food and Hannibal’s passion for cooking and Will’s interest in fishing, Hannibal’s love for opera and Will’s love for theater. In a lull in the conversation he could help but ask “Not fond of eye contact, are you?”_

_Will hummed in agreement “Eyes are distracting. See too much, don’t see enough, and it’s hard to focus when you’re thinking, ‘oh those whites are really white,’ or ‘he must have hepatitis,’ or ‘is that a burst vein?’ So yeah, I try to avoid eyes whenever possible.”_

_Hannibal regarded him for a moment “I imagine what you see and learn touches everything else in your mind. Your values and decency are present yet shocked at your associations, appalled at your dreams. No forts in the bone arena of your skull for things you love.”_

_Will looked up at him startled and Hannibal knew he overstepped some boundaries “Please don't psychoanalyze me. You won't like me when I'm psychoanalyzed.”_

_There was so much sadness and hurt in his voice, he felt something heavy drop in his stomach. “I apologize for my analytical ambush, I know I will soon be apologizing again and you’ll tire of that eventually, but I still hope you’ll forgive me.” He said with a small smile and the other man returned it before taking a sip of his wine._

_“Just keep it professional.” The younger man answered with a teasing tone, his smile spreading across his face._

_“Or we could socialize like adults, god forbid we become friendly.” Hannibal answered joining the teasing banter what earned him a bright smile from the younger man._

_The evening flowed into the night hours and Hannibal found himself enjoying the presence of the officer more and more. When the hours edged to midnight they decided it that it was time to make their ways home._

_They walked talking to the parking lot; the evening air was cold and refreshing. It colored the younger mans cheek in a soft pink. They stood in front of each other._

_“My car’s that way.” Will said smiling at Hannibal, his hands in his coat pockets to keep them warm._

_Hannibal held his gloves in his hand._

_He had enjoyed the evening, more than he had hopped and his impulsive actions hadn’t been his downfall so he did what he wanted to do since somewhere between Will’s retelling of some of his childhood stories and him listening to him talk about Tchaikovsky. He stepped closer and placed a hand on his cheek, the skin cool under his palm. He leaned down and captured his lips softly, it was the barest exchange of breath and warmth, chaste and soft. He pulled slightly away and smiled at the younger man, his cheeks now wine colored. “I’ll call you.” He whispered inches away from his lips._

_Will chuckled lightly, the sound setting into Hannibal’s stomach and releasing something warm and light. He brushed his lips against Hannibal’s and pulled away “Yeah, do that.”_

 

His fingers brushed over his lips. Memories bringing back the feeling lost in years. He sighed deeply. His phone rang; he stood up already slightly intoxicated. He sighed and picked it up “Yes, Lecter.”

“Doctor Lecter? This is Agent Crawford.” The gruff voice of the senior Agent greeted him, he wasn’t too keen on talking with him right now.

He took the last sip of his whiskey and asked “What can I do for you?”

There was a small pause before the Agent spoke “I was wondering if you could help us –“

He felt irritation creep up his spine “If this is about the evaluation of William Graham, then I really can’t –“

“No, no. I was wondering if you could help us with a case.” There was hesitancy in his voice

He sighed again, he didn’t feel up to help the FBI but he knew it would help him in the long run. He listed to the senior Agent and promised to come the next morning to look through the case files and help construct a profile.

 

The next morning he stood in a stuffy conference room, a cheap coffee in his hand, listening to the introductions. But that didn’t bother him; the only thing that mattered was that Will was in the same room and didn’t look like he would bolt out of it any minute. He forced himself to listen to what the older Agent was saying.

“Doctor Lecter here will help us with the profile. Will you’ll have to work with him, I hope that’s not a problem?” Only as the Agent uttered those words he understood what the Agent wanted, he wanted him to still evaluate Will, he saw the slight upturn of the Agents lips and he was seething with anger but hid his anger behind a pleasant smile. He would deal with him later.

He looked over to Will who seemed in an inner battle “No, no problem at all.” He uttered and there was hurt and resignation in his voice.

 

_“Deene?” Hannibal regarded him over the Breakfast table._

_“Yeah, William Deene Graham.” Will said smiling at him “My dad was French.” He drank his coffee smiling at him._

_“That’s an unusual name. Does it have a meaning?” He put the letter down and regarded him curiously._

_“Hope.” His pale eyes met his dark ones._

 

They’ve been working together the whole day but the conversation never ventured away from the case and the profile. It hurt being so close to him but not being able to talk to him like he used to, to warp his arms around him, to hold him close.

It was getting dark, the glaring artificial light made the younger man look pale, the bruises form lack of sleep under his eyes were even darker. He knew what kind of nightmares plagued his mind but he always knew when to withdraw but now it looked like he pushed and pushed, his mind breaking.

When he made up his mind to talk to him about things they should have talked years ago, about things said and unsaid, the senior Agent stormed in and called everybody together because there was a new body. He gritted his teeth but joined the group.

 

He could have killed Agent Crawford with his own bare hands in front of all the Agents that were at the crime scene. It wasn’t that Will pushed himself so hard, it was the Agent who didn’t leave him alone. Pushing him, letting him tear his mind apart.

He watched as the younger man stumbled back to his car, he approached him. “Will? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, everything is fine.” He mumbled and slumped against his car. Hannibal stepped close to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He was pale, his skin almost translucent. Deep blue rivers stretched over his pale arms, he brushed his other hand against his forehead. “You are burning.” He couldn’t help the worry creeping into his voice.

“I’m alright Darlin’.” Will whispered before he fell against him.

 

_“Come on, Darlin’, take my hand, I want to get as fast as I can out of here.” Will called to him as they made their way through the masses of celebrating people. Colors burst around them, louder than the people, a whirlpool of emotions. Hannibal grabbed his hand and they pushed through the bodies until they were at Hannibal’s flat._

_“You know it’s nice that is central and all but I am not going to come here when it’s Mardi Gras.” Will stated flatly helping Hannibal out of his jacket then toeing off his shoes and shrugging out of his own. “All the people.” He shuddered hanging their jackets._

_Hannibal watched him an amused smile on his lips “So…, Darlin’?” He asked as the younger man started to make them coffee._

_“Hm?” Will asked looking up._

_“You called me Darlin’.” He stated and watched as Will’s face turned pink._

_“I..., that’s…, hm.” He mumbled looking down again at the mugs on the kitchen counter._

_Hannibal walked to him and warped his hands around his middle placing his chin on Will’s shoulder “I don’t mind.”_

_Will leaned his body against him “That’s what my Mother used to call my Dad and my Grandma my Grandpa.” He whispered and tipped his head back._

_Hannibal turned him around and pressed his lips to Will’s, soft and slow. His tongue caressing Will’s, his hands brushing over his back. He rested his forehead against Will’s “I think I love you.”_

 

He caught him, his body lighter than he remembered it to be. His soft curls brushed against the side of his neck. He held him close with one hand and opened with the other the car door to let him rest in the seat.

He heard another Agent approach him, a frown on her face. “Is he alright?”

“No.” He crouched and measured his pulse, to quick and his body to warm. He could feel her eyes on him, after a moment she yelled something but he didn’t hear it. He was too focused on the man before him “Chéri…”

 

_Hannibal looked over the crowd before he spotted Will at the bar talking to an older woman. He approached and heard the last rags of a conversation._

_“Dommage, tu es mignon, Chéri.” Hannibal arched an eyebrow._

_He could see Will’s face turn slightly pink “Merci?” Hannibal scowled and tried to get faster closer to them._

_“Et tu l'aimes?” He stopped and stared at the strange pair at the bar._

_“Oui, oui je fais. Will raised his glass and clinked it with the older woman’s._

_Hannibal approached placing a hand on his shoulders. Will turned smiling at him and gave him a small peck on the cheek._

_“I wouldn’t trade that too.” The older woman stood up laughing and rose her glass in a toast as she walked away. Will laughed and joined her in the gesture tilting his head in thanks._

_Hannibal sat on the place the woman had previously occupied “How much did you hear?” Will asked grinning at him._

_Hannibal smiled at him and propped his head on the arm that was now resting on the bar “Assez…, tu m'aimes Chéri?”_

_Will looked at him and started laughing again “Yeah Darlin’, I do love you.” He slid from his stool still grinning and warped his arms around his neck “Yeah, I love you.”_

 

There was paramedic at his side and took Will’s vitals. It was a matter of seconds that they agreed to bring him to the hospital. The other Agents were now there too, watching as he was put in the back of the ambulance, half awake. “Mr. Graham do you have any medical allergies? The paramedic asked shining his penlight into his eyes.

“No…, yeah…” Will mumbled trying to keep his eyes open.

Hannibal stepped closer crouching next to Will “He’s allergic to penicillin and aspirin.” He said talking Will’s hand into his. It still fit perfectly into his and the rings still matched his.

 

_“So when’s the wedding you lovebirds?” Someone shouted._

_They sat in the corner of the room, Will snuggled under his arm and there were a few other officers seated at their table. A private little place for friends._

_Christmas parties or any other festivities at the police department tended to escalate into ‘drinking spears’ as Hannibal had learned from Will early today. And he was more than right, half of the staff was already drunk and it was only halt past eight. Will’s officer friends were also already under a nice buzz, giggling and smiling. He had already a few glasses of wine himself but he was not nearly drunk enough to answer such a question, he was a little sunned and taken aback by it. He_ knew _it was not a question which needed an answer, only a little friendly jab at Will-forever-bachelor-Graham. But it light thoughts in his mind he thought were far too early in their relationship, but he still wanted them and tried his best not to show it._

_“I’ll marry him any day, if he’ll have me!” Will proclaimed loudly, stood up and kissed him warping his arms around his neck. The kiss, a little bitter from the beer Will had been nursing the whole evening and so unbearably sweet underneath it, earned them a round of cheers and laughter. Will pulled away, his cheeks a little rosy, sat down again snuggling into his side and continued the conversation with his colleagues like nothing had happened._

_Hannibal was stunned into silence for a few minutes. Will was definitely not drunk, he had one beer and he was still drinking it and he had to work tomorrow. So what had led him to say that?_

_He observed the man sitting under his arms, his body warm and solid pressed into his side, his hand even warmer on his thigh, his eyes smiling. He continued to observe him over the whole evening._

_When it neared 1 am they decided to leave, Will taking the keys out of his pocket. “I still can drive, I didn’t drink that much.” Hannibal protested scowling at the younger man._

_“Yeah, no. You drank enough, Darlin’.” Will laughed and kissed his cheek. He smelled like cedar and cinnamon._

_Hannibal warped his arms around him. “Will you stay with me tonight?” He asked pressing his forehead to Will’s, everything felt warm and soft._

_Will chuckled softly “Yeah, sure. I can do that.”_

_On the drive back to his apartment Will hummed along to the song on the radio, Hannibal didn’t really pay attention, his focus was solely on the man next to him, his steady hands on the wheel, his little smile. The slight buzz from the wine already worn off long ago, but it all still felt warm and fuzzy._

_Will let them into the apartment still humming the tune from the radio, he walked through it as if he was home here. In a way he was, he spent half of his time here with Hannibal and the other half they spend at Will’s apartment, he had change of clothes here and some of his books were scattered in the living room, his grandma’s recipe book was in the kitchen on the counter and his favorite CD was in the player, his aftershave stood next to Hannibal’s. He let his thoughts wander and made a decision._

_He walked close to him and warped his hands around him from behind “I’m so glad you’re here.” With a smile in his voice he placed a light kiss onto his neck turning him around._

_Will laughed softly and kissed him gently, it was so warm and sweet, Hannibal wanted to melt into it. After a moment Will entangled himself and made them tee humming the same tune._

_The next day he woke up with his lover in his arms, his body warm and solid against him; that was the final push he needed, he didn’t care anymore that it had only been a year with Will. He wanted a lifetime._

_When Will went to work he showered and dressed fast, he had important things to do today._

_He spend half a day walking in and out of jewelers, he considered killing half of the staff he met that day._

_Until he stumbled upon a small jeweler, all rings hand made by the master of the shop, a quiet little place. Here he found what he was looking for._

_A thin rose gold band looking like a rope in every twist a tiny droplet of amber shimmering warm in the light. It was small but sturdy, not flashy but enough to show that they belonged to each other. He smiled, everything rude about the day forgotten, as he walked back to his apartment, the rings secured in the small velvet box in his pocket._

_When he was home he called Will first, asking him to come over again, satisfied when he got a time he hung up and started to prepare everything._

_He precooked most of the food, went flower shopping and laid out clothes he knew Will loved on him._

_He wasn’t nervous he told himself, while he prepared the last of the things and arranged the table._

_He got dressed and stood before the mirror picking at his shirt. It was the bordeaux one that Will liked, he also put on the black jeans that Will liked._

_He was done with all the preparation and just needed to wait for Will. He sat down to read a book but couldn’t concentrate, his foot tapped against the floor and his fingers drummed against his knee. He put the book away and looked again in the mirror straightening out his shirt. He sat down and stood up again, fixing the things on the dining table. He sat down again but after a minute stood up again and went into the kitchen and looked over the food again, a bottle of champagne was chilling in a bucket in the kitchen. His fingers flexed at his side and he walked through his apartment arranging things just where they belonged. He stood again in his dining room and picked at the flowers, he had picked a bouquet of daisies and pink and red carnations. The room was filled the fine scent of the flowers. He glanced at his watch; Will should be back in ten minutes._

_He started to pace around the apartment again and glanced now and then out of the window, looking for Will’s car. After around five minutes he saw Will’s car park in the parking lot. His heart made a leap and he walked to the kitchen and made sure everything was still alright and then he looked again in the mirror fixing his hair. He walked to the door, opened it and leaned against the doorframe waiting for Will to come up, he crossed his arms but his fingers still twitched._

_Will came out of the lift and looked at him a slow smile spreading on his face “What’s the occasion?” He asked as he came nearer. Hannibal just smiled at him._

_He stood a few feet away and Hannibal let his arms rest against his sides._

_Will looked him up and down “God, you are gorgeous.” He exhaled and came close warping his hands around his neck and pulling him into a kiss. In the moment Hannibal felt Will’s hands upon him the tension flowed out of him, he warped his hands around Will’s middle and pulled him into the apartment closing the door with his foot. He lost himself in the sensation of Will all around him before he broke away smiling and took off his coat steering him into the dining room presenting him with the flowers._

_Will took the flowers and smelled them, his eyes closing and a gentle smile spreading on his face. “They are wonderful, thank you.” He stepped closer and placed a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth, his lips like silk against his skin. He seated him at the table._

_The dinner proceeded like planned, the dishes were perfect and he could engage Will in a light banter without betraying his nerves, and he was ready to admit that he was nervous._

_He brought their dishes to the kitchen and took out their dessert from the fridge. He set it on the counter and leaned against it getting the small velvet box out of his pocket; he opened it and brushed over the rings sitting inside. He put it back into his pocket took a deep breath and brought out the dessert._

_“This has been amazing, Darlin’.” Will said stroking Hannibal’s hand, a soft smile on his face that never faded over the evening._

_“William, you are the most wonderful human being I know.” He said slipping his fingers between Will’s._

_“I’m just like everybody else, maybe with more neuroses, little social grace and bad manners on top.” He answered laughing, little wrinkles gracing his eyes._

_“No, Will, listen to me.” He said lightly squeezing his hand and lifting it to kiss his knuckles. Will looked at him with a curious gaze._

_“You are the most wonderful human being I know; you are funny, kind and loyal. I know you would do everything for your friends.” He took a deep breath “You are so wonderful, everything about you is.” He squeezed his hand and stood up to stand in front of him. He took his face into his hands and rested his forehead against Will’s. “You have no idea how much light you brought into my life. Your presence alone makes everyday worth being alive.”_

_He kneeled on his left knee “I love you so much, everything about you, even if you drop your clothes on the floor and forget about them and I have to pick them up.” He chuckled and brushed a hand over Will’s cheek “I love to wake up with you in the mornings, having you near me, smelling you over the day on my skin, coming home to you.” He blinked the tears away and looked into Will’s pale blue eyes shimmering with wetness. He took another deep breath and withdrew the little velvet box from his pocket. “What I am trying to say is...” He opened it “Will you give me the honor to be your husband?”_

_Will pressed a hand to his lips his eyes were wide. He stared down at Hannibal and after a moment he nodded and exhaled “Yes.”_

_Hannibal stood up pulling Will up with him, warping his arms around him breathlessly laughing into a kiss. He removed the ring from the small box and slipped it onto his finger and kissed his fingers._

 

As he climbed into the ambulance he saw curious gazes directed at him. He didn’t dignify them with an answer and took Will’s hand again, who was unconscious again.

 

“How is he?” He asked the Doctor who exited Will’s room, worry spinning in his mind.

“You are?” The Doctor asked looking at his clipboard.

 

_“I, Count Hannibal Lecter VIII, take you, William Deene Graham, to be my lawfully wedded husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward.”_

_He spoke slowly after the official “Before these witnesses I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow.”_

_He smiled at Will squeezing his hands “I take you with all your faults and your strengths as I offer myself to you with my faults and strengths.”_

_He took a deep breath trying to blink away his tears “I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.”_

_He took the gold band engraved with silver ivy leaves and slipped it onto Will’s finger, his hands trembling slightly._

_“I, William Deene Graham, take you, Count Hannibal Lecter VIII, to be my lawfully wedded husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward.”_

_He could feel Will squeeze his hands “Before these witnesses I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow.”_

_He watched as his lips moved “I take you with all your faults and your strengths as I offer myself to you with my faults and strengths.”_

_A sweet smile appeared on his lips “I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.” There were some tears rolling down his cheeks as he slid the ring onto Hannibal’s finger._

_The official smiled at them “I now pronounce you partners for life, you may seal your vows with a kiss.”_

_Hannibal leaned down slightly and Will leaned up, their lips met in the middle, a symphony made of love and happiness. For a moment the world was void of everyone, they were the only ones in the whole universe. When they pulled apart they were greeted by the cheers of their friends. Hannibal placed a soft kiss against Will’s forehead._

_Will was his, and he was Will’s and he wouldn’t have it any other way._

 

“Hannibal Lecter, I’m his husband.” He answered; the doctor looked up at him.

“He’s sleeping now, he is seriously sleep deprived and dehydrated. He has to stay here for observation for today. He should take better care of himself.” The Doctor looked at him with a frown and down at his clipboard “You can visit him but you shouldn’t wake him.”

Hannibal grimaced, knowing full well that the Doctor gave him the fault in Wills situation. He breathed in deeply and entered Wills room. He lay motionless in the hospital bed, the only indication that he was alive was the slow rise and fall of his chest. Hannibal sat on the chair next to the bed and dragged a hand over his face. He sighed and took Will’s hand into his.

 

_„Hello there handsome stranger!“ Hannibal greeted him warping his arms around his middle pulling him into a kiss._

_“So I assume you like them?” Will smiled asking into the kiss. Hannibal pulled away nuzzling the others neck now._

_“Oh yes, I do. I love everything about you.” He hummed inhaling the spicy scent of the other man “And it helps you; you’ve been squinting at things for a while now.” He bit gently down into his neck._

_Will chuckled pushing him slightly away and kissing him softly. “I’m starving, let’s make dinner.”_

_“You tease.” He grinned but let him go “But I know what I’m having for dessert.” He said squeezing Will’s behind, grinning at the blush on the other’s face._

 

When the clock neared three am he went home, as much as he didn’t want to but his body was exhausted as was his mind. He had to bear Will’s colleagues stopping by and reminding them that they shouldn’t wake him. He saw the curious gazes that they sent in his direction but none of them asked him about his relation to Will. He was glad about this little mercy.

Agent Crawford didn’t show up and he was not sure if he was happy about it, he didn’t trust himself not doing something that he would regret later but to scream all his frustration at the Senior Agent seemed like a passable idea. Will still slept when he left the hospital.

When he was home he dropped into his bed and flung his arm over his eyes. There was the burning feeling of tears rolling down his face, he turned around and buried his face into his pillows.

 

_Hannibal lay in their bed, the sun shone through the window and woke him slowly. The bed was empty, Will having duty was already away in the early morning hours, only waking him to say goodbye. He lay with his eyes closed and thought about what he should do today. This day was special and he wished that Will would be home, he opened his eyes facing Wills side prepared to be greeted by an empty bed._

_What greeted him instead was a delicately made white paper rose. He picked it up, neatly written over it in red was ‘I will love you until the last petal will fall. Happy 1 st anniversary! – W. D. L.’_

_He smiled._

 

Hannibal spent a few hours between being awake and asleep. He felt sluggish and more tired than before. When it was nearing seven he made his way back to the hospital only to find out that Will had already signed himself out against the doctor’s order. Discreetly checking Will’s papers he found out his address. He had to hold back curses that he didn’t even know his address and had to go as far as snoop in his medical files.

On his way he found himself drifting back in the river of memories, trying not to drown.

 

_Hannibal was sitting in their office reading over some scientific journals. The evening sun poured in through the windows. Crimson sunlight covering the light walls and accenting the dark wood. He heard the front door open and close quietly and the well known footfall of his husband nearing the office. He smiled to himself._

_The door opened slowly and Will stepped inside. His face tight and closed. Hannibal regarded him “Is everything alright?” worry in his voice. He stood up and approached him, placing a hand on his shoulder._

_“Don’t.” The younger man shrugged his hand off and started pacing the office._

_Hannibal frowned and followed him with his eyes “What’s wrong Will?”_

_“You! That’s what’s wrong!” The younger man stopped and stared at him, his pale eyes burning into him._

_“What-“ Will stormed at him and grabbed him by his lapels._

_“How could you? And it wasn’t your first, was it? Of course it wasn’t.” And I that moment he knew exactly what Will was talking about. He grabbed his hands and showed him against the desk. Will struggled against him and glared at him._

_He had to decide fast what he should do. He held him roughly, his hands leaving bruising marks on Will’s slim wrists. The decision came when he saw the anger in Will’s eyes._

_He steeled himself and spoke “Ah my little puppy, too bad you found out. I had such a fun with you.” His face an unreadable mask, cold and hard. He held his hands together with one hand and brushed roughly with the other over his cheek._

_“What?” Will looked confused at him, leaning his head away from his touch._

_He griped his face hard forcing eye contact between him and Will “Why do you think someone like me would keep someone like_ you _around?”_

_“I – “ He interrupted him before he could say anything more._

_“A beaten dog with nothing to his name and a wide assortment of personality disorders and neuroses. Do you really think I kept you around because I_ love _you?” He snarled “You have no idea how tiring you being near me was. Always all this pretending, but at least I got enough information about police work.”_

_There was so much raw hurt and betrayal in Will’s eyes. He couldn’t keep looking into them and turned away, letting go of his hands. Will slumped against the desk._

_“You…, what?” He breathed out._

_“I used you.” Hannibal said as flatly as he could, but didn’t turn around._

_“But…, did…, ten years…” He said grasping for words, all anger faded from his body. Hurt, betrayal and resignation replacing it._

_He turned around “Oh, don’t be overly dramatic, ten years is nothing if it means freedom for me.”_

_He laughed and turned around again with a manic smile “What should I do with you my little pup? Maybe you want to join, what was her name, I forgot, Lillian or something. You would make a lovely corpse.” There were tears rolling down his cheeks, pale ice clouding. The last of the evening sun vanished behind dark clouds._

_Will pushed himself from the desk and placed himself in front of Hannibal_

_“You… I loved you.” He felt like someone had plunged a knife into his heart, but he didn’t let any emotion show in his eyes. Will stepped away from him and exited the room. He could hear the front door opening and closing._

_He dropped to his knees covering his face with his hands._

 

He climbed out of his car. The early morning sun not doing much against the winter cold. He took in the house before him, it was all so much Will. He felt something heavy, that he had banned years ago, awake. He walked up the stairs and knocked on the door. From the inside he could hear a dog bark and Will shushing it.

The door opened and Will stood in front of him, clad in dark jeans and a green shirt. His skin still pale but not as bad as it was in the hospital. “What are you doing here?” He asked wearily, not opening the door fully.

“I was in the hospital and they told me you already went home.” He answered seeking the others eyes.

“Oh…” He fidgeted with his sleeve.

Hannibal stood silent for moment before he spoke again “Can I come in?”

Will stepped aside and let him in. There were dogs laying in front of the space heater and one stood next to Will. “What do you want?” He asked quietly and hand on the dogs head, petting him absentmindedly.

Hannibal took in the man in front of him and thought a moment about what man had become of himself. He was hurting and Will was hurting, and it all was his fault. He took a deep breath, there was nothing left for him but the truth so he spoke “I was worried about you.”

“Yeah, sure.” A bitter chuckle left Wills lips; he sighed deeply and looked at him “What do you really want from me? I’ve got nothing to give to you anymore, if you want information on the FBI Jack can help you, I know you are clever enough to get them out of him.”

He looked pleading at him “Please leave me alone or better yet _just kill me_. I can’t do this anymore. I loved you so much…, so much. I tried to forget you, but you had to come along again.” There were tears in his eyes. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes.

“And it was all a lie, everything.” The dog next to him nudged him and he let one hand fall onto his head, still covering his eyes with the other.

“God, Hannibal, I still love you so damn much and I can’t live like this. I can’t.” He moved his hand away and tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Don’t act like you care for me. Don’t give me hope that there was something real. It’s killing me.” He swayed lightly and supported himself against the sofa “I am already broken. This is my only selfish wish from you, if there was anything in you that loved me even the slightest bit, in those ten years, even the tiniest bit, please just let me die.” He brought again both hands up to cover his face, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

Hannibal stood motionless, every breath he took hurt him, this was his fault “Will…” He breathed out taking a step closer to the younger man.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Please.” He whispered.

“Just look at me.” He pleaded.

“I was so scared. I’ve never loved someone as I love you. For all these five years I wish I had never said those words to you. They were all a lie and everything else was true. I love you.” The words tumbled out of his mouth tripping over each other.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” He whispered over and over again, he could feel tears burning in his eyes.

“You walked out of my life so quietly…, so quietly. I know I hurt you, I know I did. I know I don’t deserve someone like you. I’m a monster.” He dropped in front of him on his knees covering his face with his hands.

“Stop lying to me, please.” The pain in Will’s voice broke his heart all over again. This was his fault, this all was his fault.

“The only lie I ever told you was that day you found out, I didn’t tell you everything but I never lied to you before.” His voice broke as he spoke, thick with accent.

“There wasn’t a day I didn’t think about you.” He tried to breathe steadily “When you found out, I was so scared, I thought you would hate me and before you could hurt me I decided it would be better to hurt you and make you leave. That day, I waited for the police to arrive and arrest me. But they didn’t come. I walked through our apartment and you were gone, you were gone.” He looked up at the man he had loved for the last fifteen years “There wasn’t a trace of you and I waited for you to come back. But you didn’t. My words were so cruel that you _really_ went away and _never_ came back.” He let his tears flow freely, there wasn’t anything left for him except the truth. His hands dropped to his sides.

Will looked at him, tears staining his cheeks, hurt spilling from his eyes “Hannibal, please.”

“No, let me…, I’m sorry.” He choked out; he needed to tell the truth “I couldn’t bear to stay there after you left. I asked around where you were, but no one knew. And I couldn’t… I left everything behind and came here but you were still with me, always in my thoughts. I love you, I love you so dearly.” He brushed a hand over his face, wiping away some liquid, his eyes now cast to the ground “And then I saw you in Agent Crawford’s office.” A breathless laugh escaped him and new tears formed in his eyes “It was so obvious that you knew immediately that I’m the Ripper but you still didn’t say anything.” He looked up at him.

“I’m on my knees in front you, I bare my soul to you and there are no more secrets left. Truth is the only thing left for me so I am begging for your forgiveness, please take me back and love me again.” A silence settled over them and he couldn’t bare it longer to look at the younger man, he dropped his head, tears dripping onto his chest, he shut his eyes.

 

Strong hands grabbed him by his lapels and hauled him up. He snapped his eyes open but he didn’t see the fist connecting to his jaw until it was too late, a ring scraping across his lip and tearing it open. The same strong arms warped around his neck, Will’s arms.

“How could you?” He pressed his head into his chest, tears soaking into his shirt.

He slowly lifted his arms and draped them around the trembling shoulders of the younger man whispering “I’m sorry.” Over and over again.

They stood warped around each other for a while, the blood on his lips started to clot. Will slowly pulled away and looked up at him, his eyes red and puffy from crying. Hannibal brought his hand to his cheek and tentatively brushed away the stray tears on his cheek; Will leaned into the touch and laid his hand over Hannibal’s. The heavy weight in his stomach slowly dissolved.

Will brought his other hand up brushing slowly and softly over his lip, wiping away the blood. He leaned up and Hannibal leaned down their breath mingling. Their lips connected and everything around them vanished. Slow and soft, it tasted like an apology, like forgiveness, like love, like home.

**Author's Note:**

> If someone is interested, facts about this AU: They met when Will was 22 and Hannibal 32, married when they were 23 and 33 and Will found out when they were 33 and 43, after ten years of happy marriage, then Hannibal fucked it all up and they separated (When Will went away, he didn't come back) but didn't divorce, they met again when they were 38 and 48. I took the ages because I have no clue how old they actually are.  
> Deene sounds like Dean.  
> Will actually took Hannibal's last name but Hannibal figured that he would have used his old name on his job. So his name is actually in this fic William Deene Lecter.  
> Will never took his rings off, they both wear both rings; traditionally: engagement ring over wedding band.
> 
> So yeah, I hope you liked it :3.
> 
> EDIT:  
> here are the rings if you wanna see :3 http://everydayclumsy.tumblr.com/post/99534689737/the-rings-from-take-my-hand-screencaps-from
> 
> And I started writing part two :3, there are going to be some slight changes to this one but not much. Hope you are exited.
> 
> EDIT: I fixed some things in part one that were buggering me.


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